It's Not You, It's Me...Actually It's Technology

We are born with a brain not a power cord.

It's so easy to blame others...other things. Yes, I'm guilty too.

Everyday I read a post, hear a comment, analyze research or engage in some sort of debate about how technology is impacting (ruining) our society. The good, the bad and the ugly. You want the truth? It's OUR fault. We are to blame.

Don't shoot the messenger.

When I was a teacher some parents would say, well you don't have kids so you don't understand. Now I have kids and some parents say, well, you don't have teenagers so you don't understand. As a professor, I sometimes hear, you're not in college you don't know how hard it is to unplug. Here's what I do understand and always believe. Humans, not technology have the real power. 

We say things like, "If it weren't for technology, I wouldn't have ____________ (insert something you did that you now regret)." That's like saying, if I didn't have a car I wouldn't have gotten a speeding ticket, if I didn't have a mouth I wouldn't have made that mean comment. Technology is a THING, it's not human. You own technology, it doesn't own you.  Now that we have all these great gadgets and devices, it is so easy to let it overcome our lives. I get it! Teaching technology courses and striving to inspire others to use technology effectively opens your eyes, wide.

Here are five helpful tips I have found through my teaching experiences and research:

1. Turn it OFF: Honestly for health and happiness reasons, it should enhance your life. There are certainly health concerns and connections to depression when it comes to using technology. Regarding solutions on how to scale back the use of technology from kids to adults: check out these three great websites with essential, intelligent info.

• Tweens & Teens:  Cell Phone Use and Solutions
• Mobile Devices and Relationships
• Common Sense Media

No more digital dinners.

2. Don't hurry me: Really the only question you should  ask yourself: "Does it save me time or waste my time?" Sure, there is always a learning curve, but in the end it should make you more efficient, not looking for a new job, a new friend, a new family...a new life. I also know that people expect an immediate response. I learned a great strategy at a workshop awhile back that if you are just upfront with people about the fact that you cannot always illicit a quick response, they will get it. Instead of constantly apologizing, "I'm sorry it took so long to get back with you." Try letting them know it will take you a day or two to respond (if that's feasible). Unless you are an emergency vehicle or coffee maker, you don't have to be instant. What will your response time be?

3. Have fun with it: Truth is, technology is amazing! It's only getting "smarter". Smart audio, smart video, smart wearables, smart connections...the list goes on. We have seen things already in our short life span that others have only dreamed about. Enjoy it, find ways to use it to keep that positive platform progressing. It is also imperative we know how to use technology. Our world depends on it. We need to be skilled on how to effectively use it and communicate with it.

4. Find the balance: We all have this balance scale deep inside us, our soul. If we listen closely, we know what's really important and we will seek ways to make time for that.

Find what really is meaningful to you. You can't Google that.

5.  Watch out for broken glass: Would you ever just walk on broken glass? No, you know it's going to damage your feet, or make the mess worse. Just as simple as you know that there are situations you need to avoid when using technology. Help someone else avoid that digital broken glass. It could be a tip, a helpful link, a website, an app, a piece of advice that has helped you with technology use. Our lives are cycles of learning and growing. We make mistakes, we learn from them. If we don't, hopefully we have someone who calls us out on them. If not, you have to help yourself.  We need technology to live, sometimes as much as we need food to live, a job to live. BUT, we don't let food run our lives, we try not to let our jobs run our lives and we certainly shouldn't let technology run our lives.

Someday, probably in our lifetime, there will be a digital blackout. It shouldn't worry you, it should give you peace, hope or at least excitement. A day (or week) without technology perhaps would give us more time to to look up and out at all the amazing people and things right in front of us.

Maybe you don't love wine or smooching but everyone loves dancing in the moonlight.

Enjoy Toploader's rendition of  King Harvest's "Dancing in the Moonlight". It's a supernatural delight.

Are You Hands ON? Hands OFF? Get Hands FREE!

It's that time of year...holiday get togethers, coffee with friends, drinks with colleagues, dinners with families. It's that time of year...we should be spending together, really together: hand in hand, hands on listening, hands off our mobile devices and hands free from distraction.

But, we are not.

So, let's change that.

I recently heard one of my favorite songs from the past, by Jewel, "Hands" and it got me thinking about this season. How to handle freeing up our hands from that non living device that really doesn't matter, but using them to hold and hug those living people we really care for. 

"If I could tell the world just one thing, It would be that we're all OK..."

Misuse of technology can be frustrating, believe me, I teach with it most days! It's the way our world works, and it's OK that it's frustrating. What isn't OK, is just throwing in the towel and allowing ourselves to ignore those around us who absolutely deserve our attention.  We need to check our phones, we like to use social media, we enjoy taking pictures. It's OK. Just limit yourself and encourage those around you to limit their mobile device usage during times that are special.  A survey conducted last year shared that 9 out of 10 people feel their loved ones neglect them on a weekly basis by using their technology. Ouch! Make a plan and stick to it, invite your families to be part of the plan too. Perhaps it's something as simple as: everyone power off their devices and throw them in one of the stockings until after dinner. I'm sure Santa won't take them.  Your family, your special time, your decision. 

"I won't be made useless..."

We think we are using our mobile devices to be so useful and efficient, when really we are useless to our friends and families when they need us most. Remember the last time you had a "conversation" with someone by looking at the top of their head because they were looking down at their phone? It sucks. Model the behavior you seek to change. You can use some humor too, like saying, "Hey, I'm right here, you don't have to look for me on your phone!" Be honest and proactive. Find ways to finish your phone business before you meet up with others and expect them to do the same.  "Disconnecting is a luxury we all need", as New York writer Lesley Blume reminds us.

"We'll fight, not out of spite, for someone must stand up for what's right..."

Ok, don't fight, but what do you do when the phone doesn't get put away? Do you combat rude behavior with rude behavior? No, that won't get you very far. In the article, "How to get everyone to put away their damn phones at your party", Rebecca Adams discusses the importance of making it clear that the event, or time together is going to be unplugged. However, in the end, you shouldn't  embarrass someone or make rude comments if he or she continues to waste time on their phone. Remember, it's likely there's always going to be that one person. So, let it go...let it go, or don't invite them back! (Unless, they are family, then you are stuck, or need to be more creative.)

"My hands are small I know, but they're not yours, they are my own.."

Well, maybe you have big hands, but that's not the point here. The point is that we have to stop blaming others and other things because of our technology addiction. Saying comments like, "I have to check my work email right now before you pass the gravy," "I have to text back my friend before they get mad," or "I have to finish this game!" makes us sound like we are being ruled by a non human device which we OWN, it doesn't not OWN us. They are your hands, take control of them and use them more to hug and hold, rather than to post and not be present.

"In the end only kindness matters."

Whether you are a Jewel fan or not...she's onto something here.

24/7 Technology: The Pendulum Keeps Swinging

Back and forth: how do you find balance with technology?

I always tell my technology educational courses, I feel as though technology is represented by a pendulum. Technology trends high one way and then come back full swing the other way. I tend to think of iPads, mobile devices... the "next-best-whatever-technology-is-coming-our-way" trendy technology tools as such.  

If you remember your basic physics you know that when a pendulum swings there are two common types of energy: potential energy and kinetic energy


This is how I see them represented in today's techy times:

Potential Energy: The energy stored as a result of it's position. The higher the "bob" (pendulum ball that swings around) from it's equilibrium position the more energy it has. When Apple gets ready to launch a new product, hello iPhone 6 , it gains momentum as we are all waiting and waiting for it. It gets elevated higher and higher because of all the hype with the launch. 

Then they drop the bob, and there it goes...just another new device with another new charger that we all have to buy. One more new tool or update teachers and parents have to try figure out  over the next six months while students already have mastered it in a day. These shimmery new gadgets have the potential to blind you from what you really need.


Kinetic Energy: The energy in motion. Hands free revolution seems to be gaining some traction. It's in motion and come to think of it, it always has been.  What is "Hands Free Revolution"? It's basically getting back to the basics, where we were before all this technology as far as relationships and valuing physically being with those we are surrounded by.  We know that kinetic motion is dependent upon the square of it's speed. In relation to hands free revolution, the more speed we give it, the more force it will have.

Technology: along for the ride?

Pendulums also represent balance. Back and forth, keeping the equilibrium. So if we view technology as a tool and not a 24/7 addiction. we can keep our balance. Hands free revolution offers that balance.  It's a way we once lived our lives and a way we need to get back to with ourselves, our families. Setting boundaries with our digital devices and which ones we choose to purchase and operate.  We can easily find ways to use our techy tools to help us be more efficient and grow without our stunting our minds and relationships.

Le't set limits, model the behavior we seek to see. I was in a meeting last week with six other people. Two of the committee members were on their phones texting the entire time. Did I say anything. No. Did I ever get out my phone and text? No. Was I tempted to retaliate. Yes. But at the end of it all, I walked away thankful for the other four people who I was able to listen to and enjoy their company. The five of us actually got quite a bit accomplished!

Let go of the constant swinging and enjoy hands free moments!

Letting go of daily distractions and grasping onto what really matters. Get that momentum. Take your time and indulge in precious moments with those you adore. Find ways to detach from your devices. Don't judge those that may not follow along. Every person, each family has their own way of handling how they are going to move forward in this 21 century society. It's important for us to think about it, plan for it and communicate it. In a world where we feel like we need our devices to survive in our professional and personal lives, let's stop for a minute and see which way we are moving.

Sir Isaac Newton once said, "We build too many walls and not enough bridges."

Let's figure out ways to use our keep our digital devices from building walls and focus on building and restoring some bridges.