Helping Others: No Need To Go Out Of Your Way

We can't help everyone, but everyone can help someone.
Ronald Reagan

We've all been in a time of need.  Maybe you just needed a ride somewhere, some extra cash, a piece of advice, a place to crash or a supportive hug. Every single soul out there has needed something at sometime from someone who didn't have to give you anything.

But he or she did. Why?

The other day I was on campus outside grading (one of my favorite things to do...not really). It was such a beautiful day so there were students everywhere soaking it all in. Such a positive buzz all around.  I overheard a student shout out to a friend, "hey! I need your help, can I get a ride to Ashley's house?" To which the other student replied, "I can't right now." I saw the desperation in the requester's face, but then the another girl standing there said, "I can! It's on my way."


For some reason it got me thinking about helping others and volunteering. I feel as though sometimes there seems to be two extremes when being asked for help: overwhelmed or excited.  It's hard to say no, but on the other hand we need to say no at times. Generally speaking, we want to pay it forward, go out of our way, do what's right for the greater good.

What if we were just honest. Instead of indirectly, or directly making someone else feel like we are going out of our way, we just responded with: "you're on my way" or "I can't right now".

If you think about it in the big picture, no one should volunteer or help others out of guilt or pressure. You do it because it makes you feel good, and it should!

What? Isn't that selfish?

Nope, ask yourself, "where am I going?"  When you think of where you are with your life and you think about ways to add a positive energy to that, where do you see yourself? Helping others because you want to grow, learn something new, connect with someone, and want to increase your chance of happiness as you help someone else find happiness results in a win-win for both parties. It's not selfish. It goes beyond being nice, it's seeing the bigger picture.

It makes sense then to serve someone  or an organization who in return serves you in some psychological, emotional, or spiritual way. They can teach you about a different aspect of life or maybe open your eyes to seeing something a different way. It can be a one time shot, or long term commitment. The choice is yours. There's nothing wrong with picking a time or place based on an area of yourself hat is lacking.  Life is short, spend your time wisely!

If someone feels as though they are "going out of their way" to help someone else, than maybe they should just stay where they are.  Keep opening your mind to new avenues of volunteering, serving others and let others help/serve you. It leads to a healthier life, happiness and higher self- esteem.

"There is no separation between inner and outer, self and other. Tending to ourselves, we tend to the world. Tending the world, we tend to ourselves." 

The Wise Heart by Jack Kornfield.

At the STEAM Studio, we rely on different types of volunteers. As a non profit with a mission of inspiring kids of all ages to be interesting and engaged in the area of STEAM, that can sometimes be challenging. It amazes me at the flow of people we have helping. We always can use more (so please jump in if you wish!) but we have volunteers who return consistently without anyone requiring them to do so. These same volunteers also serve others outside of the STEAM Studio.  Here's what some of these RU college students had to say about just that...

Alli W. on volunteering with a wild group of first grade girls' soccer team, "I am thankful for the opportunity to work these girls. It's been amazing experience getting to know them. Each one is different which makes it so fun to be around them and watch them interact."

Mitch F. on serving others from Uganda to the STEAM Studio, "I learn an immense amounts of things from working with different kinds of kids and people. I also learn more about myself and how to be more understanding of others lives and the some struggles people go through." 

Jamison W. on also volunteering at the STEAM Studio and coaching young girls in soccer, "I help because I enjoy being there for them and helping the little ones. It's what I love to do!"

Laine E., our new STEAM Studio Coach/Volunteer Coordinator on what she enjoys about helping others," Supporting creativity and inspriing students to explore new areas is what I love doing. We have support from professionals and STEAM coaches which helps us all achieve."

Next time you volunteer or help someone and they respond with,  
"thanks for going out of your way", 
why don't you say, 

"thank you for getting me on my way."

We all need somebody to lean on...

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Just Do It: Because No One Should Do It For You

Why is this slogan so popular?
Because it's true.

You know what I am talking about. We have all been guilty of just doing something for someone else, instead of them doing it. Sometimes, it's just easier...quicker.

What about you? What do you want to do? What do you want to achieve?

Why don't YOU just do it?

YOU ARE THE MAN, OR WOMAN

Do you know how special you are? Number one goal in the courses I teach, increase the confidence level of each student in that content area. Number.one.goal. Why? We can't achieve and sustain success without self-confidence. What's on your "just do it" list? Find a way to boost your confidence in an area you want to excel in--start small then build off of that. Everyone has a gift. Everyone can do something, every day...no matter how big, no matter how small. Never underestimate yourself. Many times you are planting seeds, seeds you may not see sprout right away. Take care of them and you will see growth. Or if you are like me and don't have a green thumb, plant more! Keep trying, eventually you will sow great things.


YOU CAN DO IT

There is the need for encouragement. It's true, we all need to feel loved. I don't care who you are, we are human.  We need to feel as though there is someone out there who's got our back. If you see someone struggling to achieve, give 'em a boost. Send a text, share a motivational website, give them a hug, or sincerely say, "you've got this."  If you are the one struggling, find that someone who can will be your cheerleader.  No one achieves success alone. It's those supportive ones along the way that get us to where we need to be.


JUST DO IT, ALREADY

Some tips people have shared with me when I was ready to throw in the towel:

• Enough with the excuses.  If you need help, ask. It doesn't mean you expect anyone to do the work for you, but often times you need some good advice on how to get through, over, and beyond that roadblock keeping you from achieving your goal. And stop saying, "I don't have time." No one has time. We live in a world where everyone seems to be overextended and in a rush. I have to constantly work on "slowing it down." Stop and do it!  Whatever 'it' is: new hobby, new skill,  new job, new way to be healthy, new idea you want to try.

• I'll start on Monday. If you have a bad day, commit yourself to tomorrow: Don't be that person, "I'll try again on Monday (when it's Wednesday)." Nope. You have tomorrow, make it happen. Do you have a student, child, friend, or maybe yourself who is having a hard time getting it done? Give yourself a positive pep talk (see video below to get started). Keep your goal(s) specific and attainable, otherwise it can be overwhelming. Blaming and feeling sorry for yourself is sometimes necessary, but you gotta get it together and get going.

• Don't do things for others,  have them do it themselves.   Helping someone does not mean you have to take over whatever it is that they need or want to accomplish. For example,  teaching technology lends itself for the helper to become the doer. Therefore, we do a lot of role playing in my tech courses. If someone is helping someone else, the helper sits to the side and the doer sits with the technology device in front of them. The helper is encouraged to use their words and not take over the device. We talk about the importance of  encouraging others to listen when someone is helping them. I actually have some of my students sit on their hands when helping others so they don't take over the mouse or iPad! Remember- It's their deal, their journey, their 'it'. Encourage them to see it as a way to grow as a person, keep life interesting and enjoy what happens along the way. 

• Inspire others: One reason why should you go for it? Because people are watching.  Big people and little people. The big people that care wanna see you achieve (your boss, your friends, your family). But I want to talk about the little people. They are watching you, whether you want them to or not. Whether you are a parent or not.  We want to avoid raising kids who are enabled and a new generation that gives up when the going gets tough. We want to show them that risk-taking is part of life, failure is part of life, hard work is part of life, trying again is part of life. It's not easy, but you can do it and they need to see you do it.

“Nothing in the world is worth having or worth doing unless it means effort, pain, difficulty… I have never in my life envied a human being who led an easy life. I have envied a great many people who led difficult lives and led them well.” 

Theodore Roosevelt

 Make your "it" yours and just do it.
Do it and do it well.

Pep talk time from Kid President, he knows what I'm talking about.
(one of my fav videos, take 3 min and watch it--DO IT!)